Weekly Challenge 2.4: Changes

A lot of things change over the course of years. Buildings grow bigger and taller, technologies become faster and smarter, but our perception of the world modifies the most. It’s amazing how fast the time whirls around you.

Last week I met one of my friends, who just has finished the university and got a full-time job. This was the first time in my life when I suddenly felt mature. I’m not talking about gradual maturation with all the responsibilities and duties, but an unexpected feeling that you’re somewhat older than you thought. Such realizations help me to analyze my current perspectives and their change over the time. The biggest difference between the childhood and adulthood is the amount of responsibility. I’m young. Excuse me, but I’m a hell of young! I can shutdown my responsible brain and go “full retard”, but with every day, with every month I feel how my resource of craziness is drying up. The further I go the more responsible I become: parties, walks, meetings, discussions — everything becomes much more planned. All these changes are both affected by and affecting my perception of the reality. I guess I become more boring, as a child would say, or more serious and calculated, as an adult would say. The change is inevitable, but we can decide if it will be a positive one.

Weekly Challenge 2.3: Poetry

This week I’ve found an interesting TED talk explaining or better to say persuading why poetry is important. Although I disagree with some points of the talk it made me think again about my view of poetry as art.

I love poems. They’ve catched my attention with the meaning and deep social messages, but with time these became of less importance. The more I read the more I focused upon the feelings. Poems have a beautiful property to touch your soul strings. They often work like a quick injections stimulating emotions. Condensed form and rhyme make them very effective in this task, and often a well written poem can amplify or change your mood in minutes or even seconds. This precision maybe achieved only by careful word choice, so finally my addiction to poetry became an addiction to the art of the word. As the art train moves forward I find myself surrounded with a plenty of weird, contorted and obfuscated poems. These present the ultimate goal of the word art — feeling supersaturation. As any other supersaturation it can be achieved by several means: either by increasing the number of possible emotions per same amount of words or decreasing the number of words for the same amount of emotions. The second approach is much closer to me, so I’ve spent some time studying the haikus and other minimalist poem styles. However, the art just for the sake of art can easily lead to non-sense and disproportion, so I recommend everyone interested in poetry to look back sometimes and reconsider the past experiences.

Weekly Challenge 2.2: Trust

To trust yourself and to trust other people is not only good and positive attitude, but also a healthy behavior. In my opinion a lot of faults from the smallest personal misunderstandings to empire’s downfalls are the result of the lack of trust.

Many people including myself sometimes find it hard to accept that trust is an essential feeling. We may feel vulnerable after a betrayal. However, we need to understand several things. Sharing your secrets with someone you trust is normal, but remember that keeping secrets is a hard moral job. Imagine you told your friend you’re cheating on your girl or boyfriend. It’s hard for them to keep the secret when they see both of you regularly, because they always will be solving an ethical dilemma. Also never expect to receive something in return for your trust, because it’s your choice and yours only. Why the lack of trust is such a bad thing? A week ago I watched Jon Baird’s movie Filth. The main character played by James McAvoy said several lines which precisely described his philosophy: Trust no one, not even yourself. Especially yourself! I won’t spoil, but after viewing the film you’ll get why this wasn’t a good idea. If a man can trust no one, if he’s trapped inside his own brain and everything he thinks about can’t be shared, he’ll surely go crazy at one point of the time. My advice is: no matter how hard the life will hit you, no matter how many betrayals you’ll have to go through, always find somebody to trust. At least yourself!

How often do you look outside your windows? How often does your eye rise up to the sky? I’m a big dreamer, so for me the sky is something special. Nothing bothers me more than the dull, equally spread light blue color and the vast dimension of clear sky. I hate it just as much as I hate grey dull life routine. I can’t stand it, when today is just a copy of yesterday. If my life turns into a xerox machine, I’ll plug it out and give it a nice kick. The sky is fun only with clouds. They make up its expressions and give it vividness and contrast. Life is the same as the sky. Add some events, give yourself tasks and problems to solve, fill your sky with clouds and you’ll start living. For me life is the motion — the change. Even if you don’t share my views, and even if you love xerox machines and routine, take a moment and look up to the sky! Life is different and life is wonderful, so take your time and have fun.

Weekly Challenge 2.1: Questions

I often ask myself a very simple question: Am I a good or a bad person? I know people, who will praise me and say I’m good, and I know people, who will praise me and say I’m bad, and I know people, who mildly disrespect me or even hate me. I think I know people, but do I? I was fooled by appearances, I became prey of lies, and I idealized people to make them seem more appealing to me. I’ve made mistakes, and who didn’t?

Most of you will say that this is completely normal, because errare humanum est. For me there is more than just these errors and choices, because there is always a motivation behind them and the analysis of it. I ask myself why do I do this? Why do I choose C and not A, and was this choice the best possible? I ask myself what could I’ve done better and why I didn’t. Today I asked myself: Would I be a better person, if just I wasn’t me. What would happen if I didn’t proceed like I did? I know the choices I’ve done are mine. Even if I don’t want to accept them as mine, I still know they are, but what if I would act differently? I can play a role, and I can be different. I can act in the way I don’t really want to, but if I play long enough will I become better or different? If the answer is yes, then the mask can change its owner’s face, forever; and if no, then I’ll always remain myself even while acting. Isn’t this why the Batman played by different actors is a different character, and isn’t this why we are always responsible for our actions?

Welcome back!

Hello everyone who is or will be following this blog. I’m super sorry for not writing for about 2 or 3 months. I can say that I worked really hard getting my Olympiads and TSTs done. Honestly I think I just needed a break. A haiku a day is kind of tiresome scheme, which puts a lot of pressure on me. Of course it was a good discipline training, but I think it’s totally over. Will it eventually be the end of this blog? Never!

Let me guide you through the list of my short and long-term plans. I thought of systematizing my haiku writings, so I’ll make a collection of those I find particularly beautiful and meaningful. Beside that I found the weekly challenge idea much more useful than everyday haikus, so I’ll switch my focus on releasing short weekly essays. Welcome back and stay tuned!